For over two decades, I have lived and breathed education—specifically special education. I have seen trends come and go, but lately, something is happening that I cannot, in good conscience, agree with.

Everywhere I look, new research is “pumping out” the same narrative: children entering kindergarten and first grade can’t self-regulate, can’t tie their shoes, and aren’t “developmentally ready” for school.

I have a problem with this. Because it sounds a lot like we are blaming the children.

The COVID Context: Compassion Over Criticism

We seem to have developed a collective amnesia regarding the world five or six years ago. These children were born into—or spent their most critical formative years in—a global pandemic.

I remember the weight of that time. I wasn’t pregnant, but I can only imagine the terror of giving birth in a hospital where people were dying, not knowing if your tiny, vulnerable baby would survive a respiratory virus. As parents, we did what we had to do: we protected them. We overcompensated because the world felt unsafe.

Now, those “COVID babies” are in our classrooms. They are struggling, yes. But instead of providing a roadmap for how to help them, the professional world is busy validating the “problem” with data. We are documenting their struggles without offering them a hand up.

The Myth of the “Standard” Benchmark

I’ve seen this rigid adherence to benchmarks hurt children firsthand. My own son was born without thumbs.

I once had a professional tell me, with a straight face, that he wasn’t meeting the “age-level benchmark” because he didn’t use a tripod stance to hold his pencil. I looked at her and said, “He can’t. He doesn’t have a thumb.” It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But we do this to children every day. We ask them to tie their shoes in one specific way, then label them “behind” if they can’t. Have you ever tried to tie a shoe without using your thumbs? I have. It’s nearly impossible—yet my son found a way to do it.

We need to stop using the same yardstick for every soul. If the goal is writing, who cares if the grip is “standard”? If the goal is independence, why are we obsessed with only one way to tie a lace?

How to Think Differently: A New Manifesto for Educators

If we want to actually help this generation of students, we have to flip the script. Here is where we start:

• See the Individual: A child is not a data point. They mature at their own rate, and you cannot force development through a standardized test.
• Guidelines, Not Gags: Use benchmarks as helpful signs, not as absolute rules. Stop the generalized statements that “all children should do X by age Y.”
• Tools Over Accommodations: Don’t just “accommodate” a deficit. Provide the specific tools—technological, physical, or emotional—that allow a child to actually accomplish the task.
• The Parent-Teacher Partnership: Stop acting like educators have all the answers. Parents know their children best, and the children know themselves best of all.
• Listen to the “I Don’t Know”: When a child says “I don’t know,” they are often just protecting themselves. They’ve been programmed to believe there is only one right answer, and if they don’t have it, it’s safer to stay silent. Give them the freedom to share how they think, not just what they know.

The Most Important Step: Ask the Kids

We often don’t give children enough credit for their own intelligence. If we stop testing them for a moment and simply observe how they process information—if we actually listen to how they see the world—we might realize that they aren’t “behind” at all. They are just navigating a world that wasn’t built for their specific journey.

It’s time to stop looking for what’s wrong with our children and start looking for what’s wrong with our approach.

Let’s start thinking differently. If you’re ready to change the way you see your students, let’s talk.

drlynnehartman@gmail.com